May 19, 2021
By: Jennifer Nelson
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“Only when you cultivate your talents and gifts you prosper.” -Sunday Adelaja
Children listen to what we say about them and they take it to heart. Therefore, we should try to say things that nourish and empower them. If we want our kids to make healthy choices and to have self-respect, we have to cultivate that. It may seem obvious, but it’s not always.
I’ve had parents say things to me in front of their children that totally kill the empowering vibe that I just put out. It can be cringeworthy, but I understand.
Maybe we stress about our child not doing well in school, so we make comments that make them feel discouraged instead of unconditionally loved and accepted for the being they are. Maybe we are worried about their future, so we project our fears onto them and they end up feeling stressed and fearful.
Maybe we are just doing what was done to us – if we weren’t encouraged as children, then we might now know how to encourage our own children. It’s also possible that we have kids with tough personalities, so we are just doing the best we can with the situation.
There’s no blame here, I only have observations. And I have observed that many children are more enthusiastic about learning when they are listened to and encouraged instead of criticized. We don’t have to sprinkle roses and rainbows all over the place to know this is true. All we have to do is look at ourselves.
How do we like to be spoken to? Do we like someone coming down with an axe, or do we prefer respect and civility? Do we like to feel useful and productive, or do we like to feel ashamed and uncomfortable?
One size does not fit all, but we can choose to recognize our children’s gifts while lovingly helping them find a way to work with the areas where they struggle. We don’t have to berate them as a motivational technique. We don’t have to focus so much on what we think they are doing “wrong” that we never recognize their own brand of genius.
Yet, everyone is different so if it resonates then rock with it and if it doesn’t, then it wasn’t for you.
The intent of this newsletter is to increase awareness of available educational options in order to encourage environments where students can align to their true gifts and talents.
When people are aligned to their true nature and in touch with their loving hearts, they are able to co-create a harmonious world.
A Bachelor’s Degree for Under $10K
I don’t believe that everyone needs to attend college, and my views won’t change on that. What people require is a way to get the skills and knowledge needed in order to find their place in life. That can happen in many ways, therefore college is not the gatekeeper for everyone.
But, if our particular journey requires that path; then it wouldn’t hurt if it were more affordable.
Southern Utah University is now offering a bachelor’s degree for $9,000. However, “there are no frills to this program. Your bachelor’s degree will be in general studies. It is only available online and there are virtually no options, no substitutions. It’s like ordering from a set menu.”
I hope that we see more options like this, and I know it can happen.
When Parents Are Blamed For Their Children’s Behavior
This piece about parental blame was quite touching. The author writes, “even if every single thing our children struggle with is 100% our fault, I do not think that a family barely making it through the day needs the heaping shame of blame from the person they are coming to for help.”
We live in a world that is not as black and white as we are taught. Sometimes children have issues because of their upbringing; there are cases where parents are not providing a healthy environment on any level. Yet, sometimes as parents we are doing our best, but we find ourselves in difficult circumstances with our children due to reasons beyond what the mainstream paradigm tells us. Whatever the case is – everyone deserves compassion; and a dose of neutrality as opposed to judgment.
When we judge and shame, we make it difficult for people to seek the help they need. Who wants to seek help if it’s going to cause more issues? Who wants to be ridiculed? On the other side of that, it’s hard to help someone when we aren’t taking the time to understand their story because we are using our ego to judge them.
These egoic judgments can sometimes be used as a crutch to make us feel safe. We pat ourselves on the back for doing things “right” and that’s why we don’t have the problems that others do. But does that type of attitude really help us in the long run?
It seems like a more evolved approach would be to appreciate the joy in our own lives while not using that to look down on others.
I hope that we all learn how to open our minds and hearts so that we can love and support one another on this journey called life.
Remember to love yourself and to always follow your inner guidance. Therefore, take what resonates and discard the rest.
Feel free to forward this to anyone that you think will find it valuable.
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